Lots of political science textbooks tell you how to get your first job in public office, so that must be simple enough. But where are the guides for getting your third government job, or your fifth or eighth?

That's important to know because, while some states restrict the number of publicly financed jobs one person can hold at a time, New Jersey does not. In 2000, the Center for Public Integrity in Washington, D.C., ranked New Jersey No. 1 in the country for the number of legislators who earn money from other government jobs. A bright-eyed, ambitious young person can crank out about a hundred resumes here and just go nuts.

As my newspaper, the Courier-Post in Cherry Hill, N.J., recently reported, Assemblyman Robert Smith, D-Washington Township, is also municipal prosecutor in six Democrat-controlled towns. State Sen. Wayne Bryant, D-Camden, is also the attorney for the Gloucester County Board of Social Services, public relations man for the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey's Stratford campus and a distinguished visiting professor at the Rutgers-Camden School of Law — all that on top of his private law practice. In 2000, more than 40 percent of New Jersey's state lawmakers earned extra money from government work, the Center found. The national average was 23 percent.

Naturally, you are asking, in outrage, “How do I go about getting me a piece of that?” Just follow these simple steps.

Step one: Get elected to something.

Step two: Look for a job in your field of expertise. Some good job leads may turn up in the want ads. But others simply are written on the backs of napkins, created spontaneously during a cocktail party or casually mentioned by lobbyists who need something from your Legislative subcommittee.

Step three: Put together your resume. It's helpful, of course, to mention your experience and academic credentials. More important, though, are the intangibles. Here is one section from a winning resume:

“Experience — Five years in the state Assembly, co-chair of the education committee. Also, am friends with Carl. You know. Carl.”

Step four: The interview. When preparing to interview for their sixth or seventh job, people often get nervous. Don't. So what if you forget the interviewer's name and think you're interviewing in a different township for a job that you, in fact, already have? The important thing is to stay awake and make them buy you lunch.

The following job interview will work just fine:

Your Next Employer — Hey, Ted, you old son of a gun. Good to see you, buddy.

You — Hey … you. How's that golf game of yours?

YNE — Ha, ha! Don't remind me! So are you coming on board with us?

You — I don't know. Let's talk about it over lunch.

YNE — Lunch? … Geez, it's … it's eight o'clock in the morning, Ted.

You — Don't you want lunch?

YNE — Well, eventually, but …

You — I sure could use lunch.

YNE — I guess I do know one place in Delaware that may open early …

You — (QUICKLY) You mean Ben’s Archway Diner. They're still cleaning the grill right now. But it's OK. They know me.

In this interview, you've shown that you follow through on your objectives, and most important of all, you did not let them talk you out of lunch — which those cheap rats will do if you let your guard down.

Step five: Go to work. How proud you'll feel, walking in on that first day — after going to your six other jobs and before leaving after half an hour for your eighth job, which you will have picked up in the meantime without quite remembering where.

What thrilling challenges your life will hold: rising to a variety of tasks, trying to remember where you parked at all these office buildings and, most of all, counting the days until you retire from all eight government jobs — and collect eight government pensions.