It has to be that Rush Limbaugh is the target of a Democratic conspiracy. Prosecutors are using questionable tactics against him – tactics that are new to Limbaugh and, therefore, to us all.

“The Democrats in this country still cannot defeat me in the arena of political ideas, and so now they are trying to do so in the court of public opinion and the legal system,” he said on his show Dec. 23.

That’s the explanation he offers for why information about the pending drug case against him has been leaked. “The state has been leaking information to the press throughout this investigation,” he said. “They have been planting information that is not established, throughout this investigation.”

Indeed, that must be it, because prosecuting attorneys have never, ever in the history of law enforcement, ever leaked information to the press about a suspect. This could happen only to a rich, white talk show host who defied the liberal media conspiracy. You know whom that would never happen to? Poor, minority suspects who don’t get to argue their side of the story on a national radio show every day. One prisoner I talked to expressed shock and bewilderment that prosecutors ever would go overboard. I interviewed him in the machine shop while a fellow inmate was forcing him to put on lipstick. Here are the transcripts:

Prisoner: “No, the prosecuting attorneys never did any such thing to me.”

Me: “So they were completely fair?”

Prisoner: “Sure. Like, they never released a bunch of charges against me while my lawyer told me not to tell my side of the story to the press or it would make my case harder. Detectives never had me imagine a hypothetical scenario in which I had committed the crime, then had me record it, then told my friends and the press that it was my confession. None of that stuff happened. I don’t even know why I thought just now to mention it.”

Me: “Do you see any comparisons between Limbaugh’s conspiracy theories regarding his case and similar theories from supporters of, say, Michael Jackson or O.J. Simpson?

Prisoner: “Not at all. Jackson and Simpson’s conspiracy theorists say those two were targeted because some police officers are racist, which is absolutely ridiculous. There has never been any racial tension between police and the black community, especially where O.J. was arrested, in Los Angeles. Limbaugh’s theory presumes that prosecuting attorneys and other law enforcement officials tend to be radical, leftwing Democrats, which makes a lot more sense. I believe I read someplace that 95 percent of all police officers graduated from Swarthmore.

Me: “You sound outraged. What can every American do to expose the conspiracy surrounding Rush Limbaugh?”

Fellow inmate: “Call me your Daddy.”

Prisoner: “I think it’s just ... Hang on a second ... You’re my Daddy ... I think it’s just shameful how the justice system treats rich, prominent conservatives. Limbaugh should be treated like the rest of us – just ... exactly ... ow ... what was your question again?”