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NEW RULES FOR NEXT DEBATE
Air America Radio
10/2/2004
After the first debate, GOP forces have asked for another set of rules for the next encounter between President Bush and Sen. John Kerry. The following stricturesz should be in place by Friday:
Candidates must not say anything that conclusively disproves what their opponents just said.
President Bush is still not allowed to stand on a riser to increase his height. However, John Kerry must stand in a hole.
When president get irritable, repetitive and muddled, Sen. Kerry must also become irritable, repetitive and muddled. Otherwise, it’s not a level playing field.
No matter how President Bush pronounces Abu Ghraib, that’s how everybody has to pronounce it from then on.
The director in the broadcast control booth must allow Karl Rove to type in subtitles for what the president MEANT to say.
Sen. Kerry must preface all his remarks by saying, “Oh Great and Merciful George Bush, forgive your humble servant John Kerry this foolish notion.”
The moderator must address George Bush as the “Amazing Colossal President.”
No scary clowns in the president’s staging area.
For the purposes of this debate, the war in Iraq is presumed to have started in the Clinton administration.
If the president prefers not to answer a question, he may choose instead to do a one-armed push-up. He gets three tries.
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